A Minneapolis-area man recently lost a battle with cancer. But just before his death last week, he wrote an obituary where he revealed a startling secret to the world.
Aaron Joseph Purmort, 35, said he was none other than the Amazing Spider-Man:
Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a years long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer, who has plagued our society for far too long. Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man, and thank him for his many years of service protecting our city. His family knew him only as a kind and mild-mannered Art Director, a designer of websites and t-shirts, and concert posters who always had the right cardigan and the right thing to say (even if it was wildly inappropriate).
The touching obituary published in the Star-Tribune also notes that Purmort was once a member of a band called The Asparagus Children, “which reached critical acclaim in the northern suburbs” and that his son, Ralph, “will grow up to avenge his father’s untimely death.”